God, my world is out of balance,
and the tension hurts.
Who am I?
What am I doing here?
Your word comes to me from every side,
and I stand in confusion
before this maelstrom of opportunity.

Can I not escape?
Can I not retreat into the safe anonymity
of everyday necessity?
You say, “Speak,”
when my tongue stammers to a halt.
You say, “Love,”
as I shrink back into my portable shell.

Is this woman who lives in here,
Or is she

“The same skin can hold them both,” you say.
Who can concentrate on seeking
with an eye full of oatmeal
and a lapful of squirming humanity?
Who do I lead with no formal training,
no background of “correct” requirements?

“Play it by ear!”
Have I the right?
Isn’t there danger of misleading those who follow?
O God!  I can think of so many excuses!

“But the word is still there.
It will not let me go.
It fills my life.
It invades my world.
I am surprised by love
and compelled by joy to speak.

So be it!
I am woman.
I am Christian.
I am seeker!
But best of all, Father
I am your beloved child!


c.2011, Donna Swanson


About dswan2

Poet, author, columnist, lyricist, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, wife of 50 years. Born and raised in America's Heartland
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2 Responses to Seeker

  1. Jingle says:

    the search to find oneself is never ending.
    awesome piece.

  2. Becca Givens says:

    We all question our right … but we have the right because we ARE children of GOD!!
    Beautifully expressed, Donna! Thank you for sharing and for being a beacon … it is evident God shines through you to us! 😀

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